Wednesday, July 12, 2006

McCarver Inspires Blog that Wants Him Fired

This blog has been inspired after listening to Tim McCarver carve up baseball games for years. If you watched last night's All-Star Game you know what I'm talking about.

A typical McCarverism occured while describing pitcher Brad Penny's fastball when the announcer quipped: "A Mark Wahlberg fastball. Catch me if you can."Um, what? Was McCarver, again, trying to be clever and relevant? The problem is Mark Wahlberg wasn't anywhere near "Catch Me If You Can." That was Leonardo DiCaprio. I am not unsympathetic to McCarver though: there aren't many players named Leonardo.

Yeah, Penny had Joe Buck and McCarver pretty excited after he struck out the side in the first inning. That hasn't happened All-Star games, wow. Pedro Martinez started the 1999 All-Star game fanning Barry Larkin, Larry Walker, and Sammy Sosa. He struck out Mark McGwire to start the second inning, and Jeff Bagwell to end it. Last night Penny started off with three strike outs and the Pedro comparisons were flying. But has anyone ever heard of Carl Hubbell? He's National League the pitcher who started the 1934 All-Star game and struck out out five future Hall of Famers in a row: Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, Jimmy Foxx, Joe Cronin, and Al Simmons. But his name was not even mentioned during Penny's first inning. Probably due to a directive never to mention anything in baseball prior to the 1994 strike again.

"Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" ? David Wright's fashion segment? Game-breaking events trumped by inning long interviews with coaches and players? Baseball is showing it would obviously rather have anything on the screen other than the game itself.

During the fourth inning McCarver ended up on a long ramble about David Wright's appearance on David Letterman tonight. No doubt both men sharing the same first name was just too tantalizing to not ramble about.

The tribute to Roberto Clamente could have been better. I greatly prefer the days when baseball commissioners were nowhere near michrophones or television cameras. When did Bud Selig become obligitory?

The only announcer allowed to be clever is Vin Scully. He pulls it off. Joe Buck was able to pull it off. Harry Caray was just a goof, but lovable. You’ve either got it or you don’t, and if you don’t and you think you do you’re just annoying. It’s like you’re the guy at the party pulling quarters out of people’s ears. The All-Star game itself was pretty boring until Trevor Hoffman blew the NL's one run lead by serving up a triple to Michael Young. I regretted not seeing Minnesota's Francisco Lariano, Scott Rolen, or Miguel Cabrerra.

Did Chuck Tanner really have to put on a uniform? Baseball players are not Civil War vets. Let’s stop that trend.

Am I the only one who finds the home run derby over-done? Berman has really jumped the shark. His Bermanisms, his "back back back back back back back.." Enough already. He’s brought out when ever sports excitement needs to be ratcheted up a notch. Isn't it enough just to have guys hitting home runs? Do we need tents in the bleachers? Do we need Harold Reynolds? Do we need gold balls and fans linked to players and kids running around and camcorders and hats on backwards? All good things must be killed by over-hype.


Blogger Sasquatch said...


6:55 AM  
Blogger Augustus "Augie" Vanderbilt said...

Dear god, he's in rare idiot form today

3:14 PM  

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